Health and Wellbeing

Supporting a child or Young person with Mental Health

Mental health issues can affect children and young people from all walks of life, as well as adults. Everyone experiences difficult times and it is important that Children & Young people feel supported and encouraged to find help and safe ways to cope with their thoughts and feelings.

There are everyday things you can do to help someone suffering with their mental health. Routine is important, set activates for the morning, afternoon and evening. These don’t need to be extravagant just normal daily tasks.

Encourage and support the young person to look after themselves by eating well, exercising, sleeping, going out, doing things they enjoy and not self-medicating through alcohol, drugs, nicotine or caffeine.

Give assurance to the young person, they are not alone and lots of people can become ill with their mental health just as we can with our physical health.

How do I approach a young person I have concerns about

It is important that you remain calm when talking to a child or young person that you are concerned about. You should ensure that the conversation will not be rushed, making sure that you have time to really listen and acknowledge how the young person is feeling. Let them know that you want to understand and help them.

Try not to minimise or play down how they are feeling, everyone deals with emotions and feelings differently. You may find that the young person does not want to talk and will play down how they are really feeling. You could suggest that they write down how they feel if this is easier for them to do or ask if they would prefer to talk to another trusted adult.

Help and encourage the young person to think through the problems and help them to find possible solutions. Always encourage them to look to the future and how differently things can be.

Information regarding Medical Neglect can be found here:

What can I do?

As a parent or carer, you might suspect that your child is self-harming. There are signs to keep an eye open for including unexplained cuts, bruises, burn marks and bald patches. Young people that self-harm often keep themselves covered with long sleeves and trousers, they avoid things like swimming and changing around others. You may find bloody tissues and broken razors in the rubbish.

The young person may have become withdrawn and isolated, with a low mood and a general lack of interest. The young person may be engaging in risk taking behaviours such as alcohol and drug taking and unprotected sex.

It can be extremely difficult to know what to do or how to react if you find out your child is self-harming. There are things that you can do to really help:

• Talk to your child but try not to get into a hostile confrontation, and avoid asking your child lots of questions all at once.
• Keep an eye on your child but avoid ‘policing’ them because this can increase their risk of self-harming.
• Remember that self-harming cannot always be seen.
• Remember the self-harm is a coping mechanism. It is not the problem but a symptom of an underlying problem.
• Keep open communication between you and your child and remember they may feel ashamed of their self-harm and find it very difficult to talk about.
• Keep to normal firm boundaries and don’t be afraid of disciplining your child. The child or young person needs a sense of normality to help them feel secure and emotionally stable.
• Seek professional help. Your child may need a risk assessment from a qualified mental health professional. Talk to your GP and explore whether your child can be referred to your local Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS).

What are Eating Disorders?

Eating Disorders are worries about weight and shape that effect your eating habits.

Being overweight can cause problems with self-confidence and health, however lots of young people who are of normal weight are unhappy with their body shape and wish to be thinner.

Young people often try to lose weight by dieting, believing that weight loss will make them feel happier.

Young people who diet are at risk of developing an eating disorder, including anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa.

Whilst eating disorders are serious, and potentially life threatening mental health conditions, it is important to remember that they are relatively rare. It is not uncommon for young people to become more body conscious, feel dissatisfied with their body image and weight, go on diets or become faddy eaters during their adolescent years. Not every young person who experiences this has or will develop an eating disorder.

How do I support a young person who may have eating difficulties?

It can be extremely difficult to know what to do or how to react if you find out your child has an eating disorder. There are things that you can do to really help:

1. Talk to your child but try not to get into a hostile confrontation, and avoid asking your child lots of questions all at once.
2. Keep an eye on your child but avoid ‘policing’
3. Keep to normal firm boundaries and don’t be afraid of disciplining your child. The child or young person needs a sense of normality to help them feel secure and emotionally stable.
4. Seek professional help. Your child may need a risk assessment from a qualified mental health professional. Talk to your GP and explore whether your child can be referred to your local Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS).

Reassure your child that you love them and that you will get through the difficulties together. Making sure that you validate their distress, not behaviours. As hard as it may be for you to understand, the emotional struggle is very real. 

Where can I get help & advice?

It can be frightening for an adult when a child or young person develops and eating disorder but there is support and advice available:

1. CAMHS have a dedicated website for eating disorders. Here you will find lots of information and advice.
2. B-eat – The Beat Adult Helpline is open to anyone over 18. Parents, teachers or any concerned adults should call the adult helpline.
   Helpline: 0808 801 0677
   Email: help@beateatingdisorders.org.uk
3. ABC (Anorexia & Bulimia Care)  have great website or call: 03000 11 12 13

I’m worried that my child may be taking drugs

Adolescence can be a very difficult time for young people; your child may be acting differently for a variety of reasons which doesn’t necessarily mean they are taking drugs. However, if you are worried that your child may be using drugs the best thing to do is open up an honest conversation with them, explaining the health risks and dangers that come with taking drugs.

As a parent or carer, you probably won’t be able to prevent your child from coming into contact with drugs but you can prepare them by ensuring that they are well informed, there are dedicated websites that can help you with this such as Talk to Frank.

What are the signs of drug taking?

Some signs that the young person may be using drugs can include mixing with a new peer group that do take drugs, being secretive and evasive about what they are doing and where they are going, having problems at school including poor performance and attendance. You may notice more physical signs such as red puffy eyes or a runny nose, poor hygiene and a loss of appetite. You may find drug paraphernalia in the house such as burnt foil and torn cigarette packets. Your child may be spending more money and money might be going missing.

Who are CAMHS?

Buckinghamshire Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service (CAMHS) is an NHS specialist service, provided by Oxfordshire Partnership NHS

Foundation Trust for young people aged 5-18 years and their families who are experiencing difficulties with their mental and emotional health.

Many young people experience difficulties with their mental health such as anxiety, low mood, trauma, eating difficulties, plus many others which can impact on all aspects of life such as education, home life, hobbies and interests, socialising and having fun.